Standing online with the E-list...

As I previously wrote, I love Southwest Airlines, (see first post ever). I still dutifully stand in line every Monday morning and Thursday hoping for an aisle seat near the front of the plane. This past Thursday night while waiting to board my trip home I was starstruck. Two "famous" people got off the Southwest plane in Ft. Lauderdale. Go ahead and guess who I saw. Fine, I'll tell you. Rachel and Veronica from MTV's Real World/ Road Rules/ Gauntlet/ Duel/ Octagon of Doom/ Bitchfest/ Slapfight. I thought I recognized Rachel and then when I saw her with Veronica (pic) my "celebrity" sighting was confirmed. Rachel is shorter than I expected. Veronica is as short as she looks on television.

I didn't say anything or ask for any autographs recalling how my wife had tossed the autograph of The Amazing Race 2's Danny I had worked so hard to procure. Instead, I sat back and reflected on the appeal of Southwest Airlines and my own political leanings. SWA has no first class, there is no business class. The earlier you make your reservation, the cheaper your ticket is. The earlier you check-in (during the 24 hour period before your flight) , the greater the likelihood of obtaining the seat of your choice (possibly between Rachel and Veronica, we all remember the shower scene with Abe). Southwest is the people's plane. They keep it nice because you cannot fly if you smell or are too drunk, they also make you buy an extra seat if you're so fat that you spill into the seat next to you. I know this because I've seen all of these scenarios on Airline.

I guess I'm just happy to see that people like Veronica and Rachel are not too good to fly on Southwest. None of us are. I was also pleased to learn that Rachel and Veronica are traveling the lecture circuit. When I saw them, they were returning from St. Louis where they had just delivered a speech about body image. I'm not sure why they're qualified but apparently there is some pressure from MTV for the people on these shows to be skinny.

In all, this is just another tribute to SWA and their recruitment of E-list celebrities to make me feel like I'm flying a full-cost carrier. Kudos SWA. I now have only one complaint. Please make a ruling on the following certified query:

"When sitting in a row of seats near the 'A' line starting funnel are you
considered to be 'on line,' or, must one be standing 'on line.'
Furthermore, may someone use baggage to hold a place anywhere 'on line.'

On several occasions I have seen grown suited men approach fisticuffs at 7:00 AM Monday morning when a gentleman thinks he is approaching the end of the line, only to have a seated aggressor remark that the line includes his row of seats. I have never seen an SWA employee intervene in this type of struggle. Occasionally I have seen them say that someone could not leave their bag in line but I think it had more to do with the seated person's proximity to their carry-on than any kind of line etiquette. And I suppose that's what it comes down to really, we need a standard etiquette for the SWA boarding line. Here is my one and only suggestion and the simplistic reasoning behind it.

From this day forward, no person shall be deemed "in line," whether it be
A, B, or the dreaded middle seat C, without standing in their place "in
line."

Simple and to the point. If you want to be first and stand there for forty minutes, go ahead. If you would rather sit and relax, so be it. Feel confident that your "A" pass guarantees you an aisle or window. I base this rule on the truism that in no other situation can a healthy adult (preboarders have their own rules) sit somewhere near a line and retain the benefits of standing in said line, e.g., the grocery store or the post office or Disneyworld or The Wiener's Circle. I love The Wiener's Circle (don't order anything with cheese). All I ask is that we get an edict from on high. Someone at SWA needs to step up before a commuter gets hurt in the lawlessness of gate 32. Can a friend hold your place "in line?" When is it appropriate to throw a punch? If you see the same people every Monday, should you say something like, "Don't I see you every Monday?" We could all use another friend. Which reminds me, if you actually did harbor dreams of being between Veronica and Rachel, they are looking for a new friend.

Sorry it took so long to post.

Review of Volver with Interpolation

My wife and I saw "Volver" a couple of weeks ago. The Spaniards we saw it with said the subtitles did not afford us some of the foreshadowing that they picked up. We liked it anyway, even without the foreshadowing. It had its inconsistencies but it was enjoyable and I am not the kind of person that analyzes things in a fine tooth comb sort of way. I never assume standoffish rude people are really just shy, I just think they are rude. I like broad strokes. For my wife, the movie contained her two least favorite plot elements, (Caution : Spoiler) incest and adultery. This has really limited our choices in books and movies that we can enjoy together. For one, I'm a big John Irving fan, and it's just a fact that even the romantic comedies she enjoys so much often have less than faithful characters. She generally makes an exception for movies with Diane Keaton. I've digressed.

Volver is the story of three generations of Spanish women trying to cope with poverty, and the poor choices they made for men in their lives. The important male characters are dead for most of the movie and the only other male parts are peripheral. It's a movie totally driven by five female characters and the acting is really very good. Penelope Cruz is really the most beautiful actress in the world. I think that's a good sign that my tastes have matured. I used to think Eliza Dushku was the hottest, but I'm in my thirties now so it seems less appropriate to like someone associated with "Bring it On." Again, I digressed.

The bottom line is that this is a very good movie about women dealing with horrible personal histories, and Penelope Cruz is really very beautiful. The biggest problem might be that Penelope Cruz is too attractive to look like the poor character she portrayed. In the end everyone is happy but scarred for life by the nasty things men have done to them.

Interpolation regarding Penelope Cruz's Backside

Apparently it wasn't big enough. At least her director thought it wasn't big enough to play an ass of a woman who had experienced childbirth.

Almodovar told reporters at the Toronto Film Festival that the booty was integral to Cruz's role. "The arse is very important," he said. "I wanted a fake bottom like Dustin Hoffman had in Tootsie ... Having a generous ass made her look close to the ground. These are important decisions to make because once you have the physical part, you can work on the spiritual part."

Cruz apparently became attached to her new backside and felt strange giving it up.

End interpolation.

In summary, we liked the movie. I would probably not see it again. Penelope Cruz is very attractive and there are better reviews of this movie everywhere which you can read with a simple Google search. I would only ask one question of moviegoers: Is the movie really that good, or are we so excited about a movie that focuses on women and their communication that we give extra credit to the movie for being novel and important. My own opinion is that there is probably some extra credit given, but it's also deserved.

A Note on the Competitive Nature of Law School

I am decidedly not competitive when it comes to academic enterprises. I have never derived any satisfaction from a grade. It isn't that I believe grades are arbitrary, they rarely are arbitrary. I just don't get off on it. I especially don't get off on knowing I got a better grade than someone else.
Some people do.

I chose a law school where the bulk of the population had been working for a couple of years. I figured that anyone who placed a great deal of value in academic achievement would have that instinct destroyed by two years (or more) in the work force. There was still a small contingent of "gunners." Gunners have their hand raised to answer rhetorical questions. They research the cases in the textbook to become familiar with each case's procedural history. They impress themselves and nobody else.

A friend from law school is about to start teaching a class at our alma mater and he relayed a tidbit to me. On December 25 he received an e-mail from a student who was registered to be in his seminar during the spring semester. The student wanted to know if there was any reading he could do in advance of the seminar. My friend, the teacher, hated gunners passionately during our legal education and the unknowing questioner had tainted himself irreparably. My friend, the teacher, undoubtedly thought, "What kind of competitive prick is e-mailing me on Christmas to get some worthless perceived edge over another student?"

I think, "How sad that this undoubtedly awkward social outcast has nothing better to do during winter break than to try and get some worthless perceived edge over another student."

I imagine that this is the student who asks other students what grades they got, which journal has accepted them, what their LSAT score was, and which firms have called them back. This is the student who opens his grades in front of the other students and gloats, failing to realize that those other students don't care what he/she got in Contracts and that their excitement and subsequent call to their parents reveals a level of immaturity that attracts the scorn of everyone else, including my friend, the teacher.

There is no negative ramification for being the gunner. They will be as successful for those first few years after graduation as anyone else. But they are secretly hated. In study group, the gunner's name is mentioned and resounding boos drown out the name until it is never spoken again.

Go Gators!!!

As a Florida Gator, husband of a Florida Gator and father of a future Florida Gator, I hope we give the rest of America and Ohio State fans everywhere a nice serving of humble pie and a shitburger. Lets all root for the Gators tonight ( by " all, " I mean the two other people who read this blog ).

UPDATE: Florida kicked the crap out of OSU and is now the first college team to hold the National Basketball and Football Championships simultaneously.