Big Brass Balls

Missouri, really, please tell me this is not happening. But it is. A high school band, long the refuge of the socially advanced, had a clever idea for a shirt that matched with their theme: Brass Evolutions. It reeks of Mingus and Davis and had those band kids on the road to respectability, at least until the wackos got wind of it.

The shirts had the ever so recognizable, though scientifically inaccurate, image of ape transforming slowly to man. Band parent, Sherry Melby, who also happens to be a teacher in the district (kids in this district are totally screwed), was offended by the t-shirt.

"I was disappointed with the image on the shirt.” Melby said. “I don’t think evolution should be associated with our school."

I wonder what class Ms. Melby teaches, "Science is for Wizards," or perhaps, "How I Can Damage Today's Youth and Send Them Off to College to be Mocked," or even, "Why God Put the Fossils Here to Trick Us."

And shame on you Brad Politt, Assistant Superintendent of the district with idiotic parents. You are supposed to be a beacon of learning, a pillar of the educational system. And yet, you compare the clever reference to Darwin's theory on a t-shirt to an image of Jesus on the cross.

"I made the decision to have the band members turn the shirts in after several concerned parents brought the shirts to my attention,” Pollitt said. Pollitt said the district is required by law to remain neutral where religion is concerned.“If the shirts had said ‘Brass Resurrections’ and had a picture of Jesus on the cross, we would have done the same thing,” he said.

No wonder Ms. Melby has a job. How many times does a Federal Court need to say it before someone blasting evangelical rock in a mega church hears it: Evolution is science, religion is religion. The fact that Mr. Pollitt would equate an understanding and acceptance of evolution with any religion is something that should make us all concerned. Even worse is the unnamed booster/asshole who refused to pay for half the shirts when he saw the evolution motif.

If you didn't already know, Kirk Cameron is also an anti-evolution loon and here's his plan to defeat Darwin in the afterlife followed by an exasperated response in a heavy accent.